Love's Grief

Since the beginning of time when Adam was caretaker of the plants and animals in the Garden of Eden - he noticed that every one of these species had a mate but he was the only one of his kind! The Lord remedied the situation by giving Adam a female companion. She was called Eve and was to be his mate to support and assist Adam in their walk through life. The Lord declared that they should be fruitful and multiply. But as with all good things it never lasts. As everyone knows an apple came between them and so began “The Battle of the Sexes!”

And since the fall from the Garden of Eden; man and woman have competed against one another for power in the union of matrimony. Instead of reveling in one’s love for another; throughout the ages many couples have problems with jealousy, envy and lust. Then as now couples are jealous of others’ love lives; envious of how many possessions another couple has; or just plan lusting after another person’s mate. People waste more energy, emotions and time on those thoughts. For some couples it completely takes over their life. Somehow they forget about the love that brought them together in the first place. They forget about the beautiful wedding vows they spoke to one another during the marriage ceremony. It alienates them to such an extent that they do not even realize their actions. For example next time you are in a restaurant start to observe some of the couples’ reaction to one another. Instead of talking to one another and sharing experiences many of the couples just sit there and stare out into space. No longer enjoying each other’s company but just waiting to get over the ordeal of dinner; so they can go back home and retreat into their separate rooms and turn on the television.

It is very sad to see unhappy couples look for greener pastures. It has become common place these days for people to ignore their wedding vows and began to seek out extramarital affairs as if that is going to solve their problems. Instead it only adds to the misery of a person’s life. Remember there is nothing new under the sun. People want an easy fix. They are more than willing to seek out friends or if that fails to look in the Self-Help section of the bookstore to find the answer. There are so many books published each year on how to have a relationship; how to be desirable in the bedroom; or how to catch a man or woman. It has become a multi-million dollar industry!

There is an easier way, instead look to oneself; stop dreaming and wishing for Prince Charming or a Sex Goddess to be the one to sweep you off your feet and solve your every problem. Instead of daydreaming - assess your situation and use the energy to gain back the love you both discovered at the beginning of the relationship. Remember that kernel of love and desire? It may be a fading ember but with time you will be able to fan the flames of desire once more. It will take time as with everything – anything worthwhile takes time. Invest the time you usually spend in front of a television to nurture the love and respect with your other half. Remember the grass is not always greener in another’s backyard but it can be greener in yours!

Why Me?

How many times in a lifetime has that statement been uttered? Far too many to count, but time after time when things get rough those are the two words that come to mind. Look around other people seem to be on top of the world – life never seems to be a struggle. When others breeze through life we are always in the trenches. What is wrong with this picture? What do they do so right? Why are we missing out on life’s good times? Actually it is none of the above.

No one is exempt; everyone goes through life’s trials and tribulations. When we are in the trenches we are not aware of the other person’s trials. Take some time and actually sit down with another who seems to have it all together. It will open one’s eyes to learn about the struggles they have incurred in this lifetime. Each person who has walked or is now walking on this earth does not own a “Get Out of Jail Free” card. Every one of them has served time in the trenches!

Life is a learning experience – how many times has one heard that phrase? Youth is impatient with life. Whining about wanting everything right now! It is a truism that patience does solve many dilemmas. Yet how many times are those words ignored? Why? Youth does not understand – they have not spent enough time in the grist mills of life. Figuratively speaking those mills tend to grind one down and eventually one will start to heed the lessons and understand the “P” word (patience!).

How can the realization of being on the mountain top be appreciated without spending time in the valleys? The mountains seem so very high and unobtainable when looking up from the valley. But once atop a mountain noticing the valley is impossible. The surrounding mountains block out that view. And being creatures of habit; when one is on top there is a tendency to assume that we will always be up there. Being indestructible is such a great feeling! But alas when we least expect it we are swept off the mountain and tumble full speed ahead down into the valley. Being in the valley is a learning experience. And each learning experience is like a priceless deposit of gold into the bank account of life’s wisdom.

Still as one goes through life it seems that there are so few, fleeting moments of happiness and so many times of misery. Happiness is not something that comes and waits for a person. No, happiness is like a bright balloon that floats on the current of a gentle breeze. Learn to grab onto that balloon and enjoy it. One may grab onto many different balloons yet each one will give us joy; like a clean bill of health; or the wondrous feeling of looking upon a newborn baby’s smile; enjoying a sunrise or sunset as you look up at the heavens; or the age old uplifting feeling of being in love.

So next time before you utter “Why Me?” Instead say “Why Not?” You will learn that every cloud does have a silver lining!